Yotsubastuck
by Yotsubaing-Intensifies
Summary: In which a young trash lord and his seven douchebag friends play a game that brings about the end of the world. Teenage!Yotsuba group. Includes mentions of abuse, language, violence in later chapters, and Higuchi being Higuchi. Since captchalogue cards aren't a thing in this universe, some functions were changed.
1. Chapter 1

A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 16th of June, is this young man's sixteenth birthday. What will the name of this young man be?

Enter name.

"Supreme Trash Lord."

A perfect description. However, this is not supposed to be a description of this young man. This is supposed to be his name.

Try again.

Your name is Kyosuke Higuchi. As already stated, today is your birthday. Because of this fact, there is a small table in the corner of your room completely covered with food, mostly cake and stuff like that. You probably won't eat it, but the fact that it is present is pleasing to you. Speaking of present (albeit in another sense), there are a few gifts sitting down beside it. Most of them look like they contain cards and money. This is good. You like money – more than most people, that is. Growing up in a rich family, this is rather a granted, even though you don't acknowledge it. You are also interested in kendo, which contributes to the katana that is probably around here somewhere – it seems to show up in the oddest of places at the worst times, you think. Your screen name on PesterChum is bastardizedSawbucks.

What will you do?

Higuchi: Look for katana.

Nah. It'll turn up later, one way or another, most likely in a way that is painful and unpleasant. You don't really care, though.

Higuchi: Smash your face into a cake and touch yourself indecently.

It is tempting – wait, no, what the fuck are you thinking. No way in hell you're doing that. Not right now, at least. Maybe later. You've got other things to do.

And by "other things", you probably mean jacking off something gross and immoral. That is something you do a lot. Some people may say it's because of hormones or some shit (you are just turning sixteen, after all), but you call bullshit. Even you know that you're into some freaky shit. Not that you'll openly admit that to anyone.

Higuchi: Jack off to something gross and immoral.

The only thing gross and immoral here is you. You could probably jack off to a mirror or some shit, but that's a bit _too_ gross and immoral, you think. You consider yourself hideous, anyways.

Damn, all this negativity is turning you off.

Higuchi: Turn on computer.

After staring blankly at the mirror for a few moments, you seat yourself at your computer chair and activate the device. You are about to open your browser of choice when a message appears on the chat application you and your "friends" happen to use.

Higuchi: Open PesterChum.

You aren't sure what prompted you to start using this message system, anyways. One of the other seven happened to start using it, and next thing you know, all eight of you are squawking at each other like a bunch of imbeciles – which most of you are.

I mean, just look at some of the screen names. paranoidRugby? Honestly? Whoever chose that must have been an ignorant asshole who never listens to anyone else and thinks too highly of himself. Obviously. Who else would they be?

Higuchi: Answer message.

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] began pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 16:30 –

CS: Higuchi.

BS: What do you want? Im kind of busy

CS: I doubt it.

BS: What do you want anyways

CS: I was going to ask if your copies of Sburb had arrived in the mail yet.

CS: We've made plans to play it together, remember?

BS: Of course I remember what do you think Im an idiot

CS: No reply.

BS: I hate you

CS: I suppose it's a pity that I'm the only one out of the seven of us who's willing to tolerate you, then, isn't it?

BS: Shut the fuck up

BS: Anyways youre not the only one

CS: Just because you think NC has a crush on you doesn't mean he doesn't want to push you off a bridge.

BS: :P

CS: Anyway, you never answered my question. Have your copies of Sburb arrived yet or not?

BS: Maybe I dont want to tell you that

CS: You haven't checked, have you?

BS: "No reply"

BS: Anyways changing the subject

BS: Youre pretty cute

CS: Higuchi, I thought you had promised to cut out the flirting.

CS: Towards me, anyway.

BS: Promises are meant to be broken

CS: No, Higuchi, that is the exactly opposite of what promises are meant to do.

BS: Shut the fuck up

CS: Gladly.

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] ceased pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 16:35 –

Why does everyone you talk to have to be so goddamn annoying? All you want to do is hit on them. It's not like you're going to hurt them or anything. Anyways, at least three of them are gay. They could stand to humor you, right? Especially on your birthday!

Yeah, that whole last paragraph shows just how a big douchebag you are, asshole.

Higuchi: Exit room.

You figure that since you have nothing better to do, you may as well go check to see if your copies of Sburb have arrived in the mail yet, like CS suggested. Not that you actually plan on playing the game, even if they have arrived yet, which you doubt.

Higuchi: Enter your father's office.

Your father, Jiro Higuchi, is the president of Yotsuba Heavy Industrial. He's away from home almost all the time, which you don't mind so much. You're not really that close to him; he doesn't care about you or the rest of your family, really. Sometimes you wish he did. Other times you force yourself not to care. When he is home, he does his work stuff in here.

Higuchi: Descend stairs.

Wait a moment! You have to check to make sure your mom isn't nearby. You'd hate to risk an encounter with her.

Higuchi: Peek over railing.

The kitchen is directly underneath you. It's empty, except for your older brother, who's passed out on a chair. He's nineteen, and it's a wonder your parents haven't kicked him out again. You guess they just don't really give a shit about him. Not that dad cares about either of you, or mom, for that matter. You're not sure why they got married in the first place; he doesn't care about her, and she's an alcoholic who contributes nothing to him or his career. You wish she treated you the same way she treated your brother. That would be a lot better than the way it is now.

As for your brother, he's basically inherited your mom's alcoholism, along with drug abuse. He's not violent or hurtful like her, though; he mostly just acts stoned all the time. You hold him in disdain.

Higuchi: Descend stairs.

No sign of mom. You wonder where she is? It doesn't matter as long as she isn't nearby, you guess.

Higuchi: Exit house.

No sign of her outside, either. Her car is gone, so she must be out. Hopefully for a while.

The city where you live is probably the most meteorologically uninteresting place you've ever been to. It's not particularly sunny or rainy or windy or cold or hot. It's just boring.

Higuchi: Check mail.

Bills, bills, bills, business shit, catalogues – there they are; a client copy and a server copy of Sburb.

Higuchi: Enter house.

Looks like your brother is beginning to wake up.

Higuchi: Run up the stairs before you have to risk an encounter with him.

You turn to run. Of course, whatever godly being that controls your katana decides that now is a good time for it to fall off the stairs – when did it even get on the stairs, anyways? Naturally, the it lands upright on your foot. Luckily, it's just the handle, and you're wearing shoes, but it still hurts.

Higuchi: Pick up the katana and dash up the stairs!

You trip at the top and fall face-first into your father's room. Amazing. What a majestic creature you are.

A majestic asshole.

Higuchi: Just go to your room already.

Fine.

Higuchi: Talk to CS.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering caclulatedSpectacles [CS] at 16:40 –

BS: Hey

BS: I got the copies

BS: …

BS: Dude

BS: CS

BS: Are you even online

BS: Where the fuck did you go

BS: Goddammit dude you cant just tell me to go check the mail and leave while Im gone

BS: Asshole

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] ceased pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 16:43 –

Higuchi: Check to see who else is online.

Out of your seven contacts, only two are online. Where the fuck are CS and the other four?

Higuchi: Pester NC.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering nostalgicCeramics [NC] at 16:44 –

BS: Im bored

BS: Entertain me

NC: oh hey higuchi!

NC: happy birthday!

BS: Yeah thanks I guess

BS: Anyways has CS been trying to force you to play sburb with him too

NC: i wouldnt exactly call it forcing

NC: but yes i am planning on playing it with him and whoever else decides to join

NC: and im pretty sure everyone else is going to play it too?

BS: I am not exactly looking to collaborating with you idiots though

BS: The seven of you make everything impossible

NC: not all of them do!

NC: PR is nice :(

BS: Yeah well being nice doesnt make up for being overly paranoid and a killjoy

NC: i wish you wouldnt be so mean to everyone else

BS: I wish you would shut the fuck up

NC: :(

BS: How am I even supposed to respond to that

BS: Like just a fucking frown like what do you want me to say

BS: Because I sure as hell aint about to kiss your ass and apologize

BS: Fuck you

BS: Fuck your hard to respond to emoticons

BS: Fuck everything

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] ceased pestering nostalgicCeramics [NC] at 16:52 –

NC is always hard to deal with. He's just so _dense_. You're pretty sure he has a thing for you, even if he always denies it, which makes him easier for you to deal with than other people, but you still consider him a nuisance. They're all nuisances.

Higuchi: Talk to BU.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 16:53 –

BS: Earth to idiot is anybody home

BS: This is higuchi calling

BS: Answer me

BU: oh

BU: hi

BU: what do you want?

BS: Dont "what do you want" me you piece of shit

BS: You should be more polite to those who are obviously better that you

BU: please go away

BS: No

BU: please i cant deal with this right now

BS: You can deal with it and you will

BU: i really cant

BS: Just be quiet

BU: im sorry

BS: You always say that oh my god

BU: and you always act like a jerk

BS: Maybe if you werent such an idiot I wouldnt have to

BU: i know im not smart or special or anything great ok thats been nailed into my head enough i really dont need you there to tell me that too

BS: The fact that you think that just shows how stupid you are

BU: you know what

BU: no fuck this

BU: im not dealing with your bullshit right now

BU: fuck off

– blunderingUpsurge [BU] ceased pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 17:00 –

If anyone's a bigger idiot than NC, it's BU. You're not that mean to him; you just say the truth, and usually he just ignores you. He seems to be in a worse mood than usual today, but you have no idea why. Whatever. You don't care.

Higuchi: Check to see if CS is online yet.

Nope. He's still off somewhere.

Higuchi: Be CS.

You are now CS.

Enter name.

"Megane God"

That's not exactly a name.

Try again.

"Masahiko Kida"

Your name is Masahiko Kida and you are currently standing in your bedroom. You also have a variety of interests. One of these interests is in really bad movies. You really aren't sure why you like them so much, but the love for them continues to exist. Even greater is your love for glasses, which is dangerously bordering fetishistic territory. In fact, you have so many that you have two whole drawers full of glasses. How you've bought so many in the one year you've needed glasses is a mystery to everyone except you. Then again, you do tend to hoard things.

What will you do?

Kida: Examine the wreckage at your feet.

You're not sure why you thought it was a good idea to put your phone up on that high cabinet, especially when it's an iPhone. Of course your parents' goddamn cat would get to it and knock it over. What were you thinking?

You were going to play Sburb with your friends using the mobile version. Now you can't. You had normal copies, but you carelessly threw them away. You already took out the garbage earlier. Luckily, the garbage truck isn't coming until tomorrow. You'll go get it out of the dumpster soon, you guess. You are a bit apprehensive to go through that thing, though.

Kida: Examine cabinet.

Why don't you just keep your clothes in your closet and/or dresser, like a normal person? The world may never know. Well, you do keep your tops in the closet, but everything else stays in here. It's tiresome to get dressed in the morning with everything all stacked up like that.

Also, there are two drawers at the top filled with glasses. And that's not even all of them.

Kida: Pull down one of the top drawers and break its contents.

No way in hell you'd ever attempt to break any of your glasses. Ever. Under any circumstances.

Kida: Clean up the mess that was once your phone.

You bend over and – goddammit, your glasses fell off.

Kida: Pick up glasses.

You can't see your glasses. You can't see anything without your glasses. You grope around on the floor anyways, and – what was that cracking noise?

Fuck. You stepped on them.

Kida: Get another pair out of drawer.

Which way is the drawer? You can't see shit.

Kida: Stumble in the direction you think the drawer is located.

You end up in the hallway.

Now that you're outside your room, you may as well go get your copies of Sburb out of the garbage.

Kida: Walk down the hallway and descend the stairs without running into something.

What a challenge.

You trip on one of the stairs and fall down the rest of the way.

Kida: Get up.

You think you bruised your everything. You don't seem to be bleeding, though.

How is it possible to be this clumsy, even without your glasses? The world may never know. Maybe gravity just hates when you don't have glasses on. If gravity was a sentient being. Haha, yeah, right.

Kida: Exit through front door.

After running blindly into the wall a couple hundred, you stumble into the bright light of outdoors. Well, not-that-bright light. The weather is rather uninteresting today.

Kida: Slowly approach dumpster.

You manage not to fall flat on your face this time.

Kida: Reach into dumpster.

You can't tell where anything is.

Kida: Climb into dumpster.

This is disgusting.

Kida: Try to find Sburb copies.

This might take a while.

Higuchi: Stop masturbating and talk to people.

You grudgingly obey this command.

Two more people are online.

Higuchi: Pester MS.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering magneticShogi [MS] at 17:30 –

BS: Finally someones on

MS: You do realize that CB is on?

BS: Yeah but hell just tell me to fuck off

BS: At least you try to be polite sometimes

MS: While I am willing to attempt to tolerate you for a short period of time, I honestly do not blame him. The two of you tend to argue a lot. It's clear why.

BS: Ok Genius McTalks-a-lot dont you dare start rambling

MS: I wouldn't exactly call it "rambling". It's more sophisticated than that.

BS: No its really not its just annoying

MS: I'm not going to argue about this with you. You should know that if you don't want to listen to it, you have it well within your stretch of ability to leave.

BS: Im bored which is why Im talking to you

BS: But your fucking monologues are way boring so we can just avoid those

MS: If you don't want to listen to me talking, you don't have to talk with me. It's that simple.

BS: Youd be so much more attractive if you talked less

MS: Luckily, I don't want you to be attracted to me.

BS: Fuck you

MS: No, thank you.

BS: Thats not what I meant

BS: Well

BS: It is

BS: But also not

MS: Hilarious, I'm sure.

BS: Yeah you know what Im gonna go talk to someone worth my time

BS: Later nerd

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] ceased pestering magneticShogi [MS] at 17:37 –

Higuchi: Talk to CB instead.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering consummatedBarrier [CB] at 17:37 –

BS: Hey

CB: Oh hell no.

BS: I havent even said anything yet

CB: I don't want to talk to you. I never want to talk to you.

BS: I dont give a shit

CB: I find it interesting how your chumhandle is shortened to BS.

CB: You know what else is shortened to BS?

CB: Bullshit.

BS: Hilarious Im sure

CB: No, but really. Fuck off.

BS: But Im bored

CB: If you don't leave, I will.

BS: Dont you dare

CB: Try and stop me, asshole.

– consummatedBarrier [CB] ceased pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 17:39 –

Higuchi: Go back to jacking off.

Gladly.

Kida: Get out of that dumpster.

After what felt like a year, you've found your copies of Sburb. You abscond the fuck out of there, even if you fall flat on your face.

Kida: Enter house.

As soon as you enter, your mom walks into the living room. As soon as she sees you, she starts yelling at you to take a shower and snatches the Sburb copies away from you, announcing that you can have them back later.

All that shit for nothing.

Kida: Ascend stairs towards bathroom.

You trip multiple times. You just can't seem to catch a break today.

Kida: Enter bathroom.

You would think that such a rich family would be able to afford a bigger bathroom.

Kida: Prepare to shower.

Not while you're being viewed. Can't you go watch what Higuchi's doing, or at least view a new character? Pervert.


	2. Chapter 2

Kida: Be another guy.

You are now another guy.

Enter name.

"Idiot Stupidface"

_No_. Try again.

"Eiichi Takahashi"

Your name is Eiichi Takahashi and you are currently standing in your bedroom. You have a variety of interests. One of these interests is the genre of romantic comedy. You have tried to record some of your own original works in a writing journal, but you knew it was horrible, so you gave up. You really enjoy surfing, and you are able to go rather often, as you live on the coast. You also play baseball for your high school, although you don't really enjoy it and don't know why you take part anymore. You guess you just need something to occupy your time, since when you're not busy, you mostly just watch movies and sit around on the internet. Your chumhandle is blunderingUpsurge.

What will you do?

Takahashi: Examine surfboard hanging on wall.

You were supposed to go surfing today with your older brothers. Now that's impossible.

Takahashi: Examine baseball bat.

You've been hit with one of these things on multiple occasions. It's not pleasant.

Takahashi: Examine computer.

You'd think you'd be able to afford a better computer, with your father being such a rich man. You guess that having seven kids takes its toll on your bank account, though.

One of your friends is messaging you.

Takahashi: Answer friend.

– nostalgicCeramics [NC] began pestering blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 17:45 –

NC: takahashi!

NC: takahashi?

NC: takahashi are you even online?

BU: oh

BU: hey

BU: yeah sorry

NC: its fine

NC: you just disappeared and i was a little concerned

BU: oh well thanks

BU: but yeah im fine dont worry

NC: are you sure?

NC: you seem off

BU: yeah ill admit that im not in the best mood right now

NC: was it higuchi?

BU: he made it worse

BU: but not entirely

NC: whats the problem?

BU: are you really sure you want me to tell you

NC: yes

NC: wait i have to go

NC: sorry! :(

NC: you can tell me when i get back if you want

– nostalgicCeramics [NC] ceased pestering blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 17:50 –

Takahashi: See who else is online.

Don't want to talk to _him_ again. Not him, either – he's an asshole. Or him, since he's an arrogant douchebag. And – oh, hey, PR's online.

Takahashi: Pester PR.

– blunderingUpsurge [BU] began pestering paranoidRugby [PR] at 17:51 –

BU: hey

BU: whats up

PR: Oh. Hi, Takahashi.

PR: Nothing interesting. I'm just hiding in my room at the moment.

BU: why

PR: You probably have some idea, don't you?

BU: oh

BU: oh yeah

BU: sorry

PR: It's fine.

PR: What about you?

BU: not much

BU: ive mostly just been lying on my bed and staring blankly at the ceiling for the past hour

PR: I know the feeling.

PR: Are you alright?

BU: im not really feeling that great tbh

PR: Physically, or?

BU: no

PR: Is Higuchi bullying you again?  
>BU: thats not it<p>

PR: You can talk to me, if you want.

BU: well i know how hard youve got it and you dont need anything else to concern you

PR: I don't mind, honestly.

BU: are you sure

PR: Sure.

BU: well

BU: a few days ago my older brothers went on a trip

BU: theyre still not back and we havent heard from them and im really worried

PR: Oh.

PR: Well.

PR: That's not good.

PR: I'm sorry about that.

BU: its fine really its not like you could have done anything

PR: Still, I send my condolences.

BU: so could we talk about something else now

PR: Um, yeah, sure.

PR: Are you going to play Sburb with Kida and the rest?

BU: yeah i guess so

BU: kidas disappeared though

PR: What do you mean?  
>BU: he isnt online<p>

PR: Oh.

PR: MS, NC, and I are going to play, so you could connect to one of us. I certainly have enough time.

BU: well my sister has my copies rn so ill have to get them from her but sure

PR: Alright.

You decide to leave the window open for now and get back to PR later. There's someone else talking to you.

Takahashi: Answer troll.

– piousExpiry [PE] began trolling blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 17:58 –

PE: I'm still not sure why I'm doing this.

BU: who are you

PE: It doesn't matter. I don't intend to spend much time talking to you, believe me. I'd like to keep our conversations as brief as possible.

BU: if you dont want to talk to me you dont have to

PE: Well, I have to talk one of you through this.

BU: one of who through what

PE: One of you and your friends through Sburb. What else could I mean?

PE: I would say that you're all stupid to play it, thus bringing about the end of the world as we – or, you – know it, but it was inevitable, anyway.

PE: So, in which case, congratulations on being possibly the sole survivors of the apocalypse.

BU: what

PE: Never mind. You'll figure it out soon enough.

BU: are you trying to confuse me

BU: because its working

PE: No. Although that does appear to be what's happening here, doesn't it?

BU: yeah?

PE: Maybe I'll try talking to you in the future, when your knowledge of Sburb's purpose is larger.

BU: i

BU: ?

PE: Until then.

PE: I'll talk to you later.

– piousExpiry [PE] ceased trolling blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 18:05 –

Takahashi: Get back to PR.

PR: Takahashi? Are you still there?

BU: yeah sorry

BU: some guy started talking to me

PR: About what?

BU: idk something about the end of the world

BU: probably some religious freak

BU: like seriously dude im confused enough about my religion without you screaming about your almighty god named kira and how hes a mass murderer because not only does that sound weird but also thats creepy and obviously fake

BU: like please stop

BU: also kira sounds like the name of some guy wearing an ugly emo angsty turtleneck and khakis but maybe thats just me

BU: your god has bad fashion taste and thats more concerning than the mass murder tbh

PR: O...kay?

PR: I'm not sure how to respond to that.

BU: yeah its fine you dont have to

PR: At least you seem to be in a better mood.

PR: That's an improvement.

BU: yeah

Kida: Get your rich ass out of the shower.

If you stop being disrespectful.

Actually, your 'rich ass' has been out of the shower for a while now. You are currently standing by the cabinet with your clothes on. You still don't have your glasses, though.

Kida: Retrieve a pair of glasses from the drawer.

You accidently pull out the whole drawer. You drop it.

Kida: Pick up a random pair and shove them on there.

There. Now you're not a clumsy-as-fuck dolt. At least, less of a clumsy-as-fuck dolt.

Kida: Clean up this mess.

A few of your lenses have popped out and/or cracked. Good fucking job.

You'll clean this up later. You've got more important things to do.

Kida: Check Higuchi's progress.

It seems he has left you a message.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering caclulatedSpectacles [CS] at 16:40 –

BS: Hey

BS: I got the copies

BS: …

BS: Dude

BS: CS

BS: Are you even online

BS: Where the fuck did you go

BS: Goddammit dude you cant just tell me to go check the mail and leave while Im gone

BS: Asshole

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] ceased pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 16:43 –

Kida: Respond.

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] began pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 18:10 –

CS: I got your message.

CS: Sorry for disappearing on you. I had things to take care of.

BS: Oh there you are

BS: Can we play the game now Im basically bored out of my mind

CS: Oh. Well.

CS: Funny story, actually.

CS: I don't have my copies at the moment.

BS: What the fuck

BS: You cant just force me to get my copies and then not have yours

CS: Well, I did have them.

BS: What the fuck happened

CS: My mother took them.

BS: What a shitty excuse

CS: I'm serious.

BS: You basically sound like a little kid

BS: You know that right

CS: Your mother isn't much better.

BS: Low move asshole

CS: Sorry.

BS: Its fine I dont care

CS: Anyway, I'll go get my copies from her.

CS: I'll be back in a few minutes.

BS: You always say that

CS: I mean it.

BS: Sure you do

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] ceased pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 18:15 –

Kida: Find mother.

You can smell cooking from the kitchen. Maybe it's her. Maybe it's your father. It could be either.

No harm in checking, you guess.

Kida: Make your way to the kitchen, post-haste!

Your mother appears to be cooking something inside.

Kida: Confront mother.

She says she doesn't have the copies at the moment, and you're not allowed to play until tomorrow. You ask where they are and she says she's not stupid, so she's put them in your parents' room, which is where your dad is at the moment so you can't get them.

Kida: Go back to your room.

Not yet. Your dad is likely sleeping; maybe you can manage to sneak past him.

Kida: Enter parents' bedroom.

Indeed, your father is asleep. The Sburb copies rest on the bedside table.

Kida: Slowly creep over and snatch the game.

You manage to get the game. He's not awake yet.

Kida: Go back out of the room.

You begin to walk out and oh shit he's moving.

Kida: Run to your room and slam the door behind you!

You're safe. For now, at least.

Kida: Report back to Higuchi.

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] began pestering bastardizedSawbucks [BS] at 18:23 –

CS: I'm back.

BS: Ok have you got your copies

CS: Yes.

CS: Go ahead and install the client application. I'll use the server so I can connect to you.

BS: Alright

Kida: Install Sburb server and connect to Higuchi.

You appear to be able to view Higuchi and his surroundings.

Kida: Click Higuchi.

He flashes red and appears vaguely uncomfortable.

Kida: Click Higuchi's bed.

You picked up the bed. Oops.

Kida: Set the bed back down.

The bed crashes down through the floor. Good job, genius.

Kida: Answer Higuchi.

BS: What the fuck are you doing

CS: The server application appears to allow me to interact with your surroundings, although not with you directly.

BS: Yeah I noticed

BS: But why did you drop my bed through the floor that was such a horrible decision you asshole

CS: It was purely an accident. I'll try to be more careful next time.

BS: Youd better be more careful next time

CS: Give me a second.

Kida: Repair floor.

You seem to able to add objects to Higuchi's house. This seems to cost you something called build grist, though, of which you have a limited supply.

It also appears there are some objects you can deploy free of charge: the Cruxtruder, the Totem Lathe, the Alchemiter, and the Figure Appointer.

Kida: Deploy Cruxtruder.

You deploy the Cruxtruder where Higuchi's bed used to be. An ominous countdown is displayed on the screen, currently at 10:00 and counting.

Kida: Discuss countdown with Higuchi.

CS: Do you have any idea what this countdown may mean?

BS: Hell no

CS: I don't like it.

Kida: Deploy Totem Lathe.

There is no room in Higuchi's room for the action! You set it down at the far end of the hallway.

Kida: Deploy Alchemiter and Figure Appointer.

You set the Alchemiter down the living room. Higuchi's bed appears to have fallen down there. His older brother is on the couch staring vacantly at it. As for the Figure Appointer, you put it in the kitchen.

Higuchi: Examine Cruxtruder.

You have no idea what this thing does. The top looks like it could be opened, though.

Higuchi: Ask Kida to open it.

BS: Hey kida can you open that with something

CS: I can try.

Kida: Whack top of Cruxtruder with Higuchi's drawer.

It opens!

Some odd sort of circular thing comes out and floats in the air above Higuchi.

Kida: Throw something at it.

You open Higuchi's closet and pick up a page from one of his porn magazines, throwing it into the small disc thing. It changes so that what looks like a thong is in the center. This is rather interesting, but makes you somewhat uncomforatble. You are starting to think you should have thrown something else in there. Good job thinking things through, genius.

Kida: Answer Higuchi.

BS: What the hell kida

BS: Did you really just throw a page from a porn magazine into the sphere thing

CS: Yes.

BS: That has to be a violation of privacy

CS: You violate others' privacy way more than this all the time. Calm yourself.

BS: Bluh

Higuchi: Go out in the hallway and examine the Totem Lathe.

There seems to be some sort of card slot on it. Maybe for money or something? No, the proportions are all wrong for that. You'll think about that later; there are other things to look at.

Higuchi: Descend stairs and examine Alchemiter.

Your brother is walking out the front door, but you don't really care.

There's a large platform on the Alchemiter, although you're not sure what for. There also appears to be a small area on it to put in... something.

Higuchi: Enter kitchen and examine Figure Appointer.

There's another platform on this, albeit smaller.

Higuchi: Talk to Kida.

BS: Ok what the fuck am I supposed to do now

CS: First of all, I thought you'd be interested in the fact that there appears to be a giant meteor hurling towards your house.

BS: What

CS: I'm not kidding. Your brother is looking at it in the front yard, although it is still somewhat hard to see from your perspective. I can only observe it due to the zoom feature.

BS: Holy shit

BS: What should we do

CS: Perhaps it's a part of the game. Try messing around with those four contraptions. Maybe they'll provide you with some sort of solution.

BS: But what

CS: Try putting something on the platform on that contraption beside you.

Higuchi: Place katana on the platform.

You forgot you even had that thing.

When you set it down, a card is ejected out of the machine and into your hand. It appears to have a string of numbers and letters written on it.

Higuchi: See if the card will fit in the slot on the Totem Lathe.

It does!

When put it in, it ejects a cylinder-ish, red object that appears to have been carved with several odd groves.

Higuchi: See if the cylinder fits in the area on the Alchemiter.

Again, you are correct. It is amazing how someone of such low intelligence could figure this out so quickly, honestly.

When you place it in the area, a replicate of your katana appears on the large platform.

Higuchi: Answer Kida.

CS: I hope you're not too alarmed by this, but that meteor is about the collide into your house.

BS: Holy fuck

BS: Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

BS: What should I do

CS: Try doing something with that katana you just created.

Higuchi: Stab katana into ground.

The meteor impacts immediately after you stab the katana into the ground. Goodbye, asshole. Well. Maybe. You're the main character, so you're probably not going to die. Not this early in the story, at least.

Whatever. The meteor hit and that's really all there is to say on the matter.


	3. Chapter 3

Higuchi: Everyone knows you're not dead! Get up.

Higuchi is not currently an accessible character. Try someone else, asshole.

Kida: If we can't see Higuchi, maybe you can. View screen.

The window you currently have open with the Sburb application has temporarily gone black. You cannot view Higuchi. You are worried about him despite what you would like others, and yourself, to believe.

Also, someone's trying to get your attention. Two people, actually.

Kida: Answer.

– saccharineBullets [SB] began trolling calculatedSpectacles [CS] at ?:? –

SB: Goddammit Masahiko

SB: Sometimes I look back on your life in the past and wonder how the fuck you havent managed to die at this point

SB: Not that theres no margin for that to happen yet

SB: I mean I cant even view your actions past a certain point and its very aggravating

CS: Do I know you?

SB: Yes

SB: Well

SB: No

SB: But you will

CS: That tells me almost nothing.

CS: Who are you?

SB: You knew this last time I talked to you

CS: I've never spoken to you before.

SB: Yes finally

SB: Finally I can quit it with these dumbass backwards shenanigans and talk to present you

CS: What?

SB: Ok theres no way in hell Im explaining all that shit to you again I like just did that

SB: Just call me Mello ok

CS: "Mello"?

CS: That's an odd name.

SB: Well its obviously not my actual name are you stupid

CS: That makes sense.

SB: You bet your sweet ass it does

CS: I'm flattered, I think.

SB: What no

SB: No Im not hitting on you

SB: Dude you spend way too much time talking to Higuchi

CS: Yes, typically friends talk to each other a lot. That is what friends do.

SB: Friendship huh

SB: Its been awhile since Ive had a friend

CS: That's depressing.

SB: A real one I mean

SB: He died during the apocalypse

CS: The apocalypse? So my suspicions were correct?

SB: Ive already explained this

SB: Wait for the future itll make more sense then

CS: Alright?

CS: And what is all this about your friends dying?

CS: It seems to me that from the way that you're speaking, you may be of another species. Perhaps one that playing this game before us, only to have their world destroyed?

SB: Yeah something like that

SB: Im so glad I dont have to tediously explain this shit like all the other douchebags

CS: There are more survivors?  
>CS: But I thought you just said all your friends died.<p>

SB: My friend died during the apocalypse

SB: Friend singular

SB: Also all the survivors are insufferable pricks and I hate them

SB: Well mostly

SB: But I definitely dont consider any of them friends

CS: What a fun existence.

SB: Yeah really

CS: Also, how did you know my name?

SB: You told me

CS: No, I didn't.

SB: Future you did

CS: What.

SB: No fuck this I already explained all this to you

SB: Ill talk to you later ok

SB: Ive got shit to deal with

– saccharineBullets [SB] ceased trolling calculatedSpectacles [CS] –

That was the most confusing discussion you've ever had.

Kida: Think over it while you answer NC.

– nostalgicCeramics [NC] began pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 18:43 –

NC: kida

NC: kida where are you?

CS: Hello.

NC: oh thank god there you are!

NC: do you know where higuchi is? he hasnt been responding to any of my messages!

CS: I do.

NC: where is he?

CS: It's a long story.

NC: i have time to listen! please tell me

CS: Alright.

CS: To put it simply, I was playing Sburb with him, with me being the server and him the client. Whilst we were beginning, I noticed what appeared to be some sort of meteor hurtling through the sky towards him. Long story short, it impacted.

NC: oh no!

CS: I hope he isn't dead. I mean, Higuchi isn't exactly my favorite person, but I don't want him to die.

NC: dont worry! he isnt

CS: How would you know that?  
>NC: well i cant tell you that, but i am very sure he is fine!<p>

NC: dont worry kida

NC: it will all be fine

CS: I don't know.

CS: I just looked out my window, and there appear to be meteors hurtling towards my location, as well.

NC: there is a way to save you!

NC: ive been lead to believe that this game may be a route of escape from the apocalypse

CS: This is the end of the world?

NC: yes

NC: im surprised you havent figured that out already!

CS: I had my suspicions. Jumping to conclusions is rarely helpful, though, and I can't say my sources were awfully reliable.

CS: Anyway, are you implying that you will connect to me as my server player?

NC: no

NC: i dont join until later on

CS: I'm still confused as to how you're so sure of these things.

CS: You and GW.

NC: well ill let you in on a secret

NC: i only know because he tells me

– nostalgicCeramics [NC] ceased pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 18:45 –

Kida: Ponder a possible server player.

You honestly don't care who it is, as long as they're not an idiot. Maybe GW could do it?

Speak of the devil.

Kida: Answer GW.

– galacticWeapons [GW] began pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 18:45 –

GW: Kida

GW: Kida stop talking to NC and answer me gdi

CS: Hello.

CS: It never ceases to amaze me how you know these things.

GW: Youll figure it out eventually

CS: I don't suppose you'll tell me now.

GW: Ive never told you before of course I wont tell you now

CS: Sigh.

CS: I didn't think so.

CS: Worth a shot, I guess.

GW: Not really

CS: Anyway, I need a server player for Sburb.

GW: Nah

CS: Why not?

GW: I dont really feel like playing right now

CS: Do you want to survive the apocalypse or not?  
>GW: Yeah but weve got time<p>

GW: Well you dont

GW: Get someone else to play with you

GW: Maybe Takahashi

CS: I was going to ask him as a last resort.

GW: Well PR and MS cant yet and good luck getting CB or NC to play rn

CS: I'll talk to him about it.

GW: Yeah

GW: You do that

GW: Later

– galacticWeapons [GW] ceased pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at 18:47 –

Kida: Pester Takahashi.

– calculatedSpectacles [CS] began pestering blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 18:47 –

CS: Hey.

BU: oh hi

CS: What have you been doing? You disappeared there.

BU: i was talking with PR and NC some and also rewatching some movies

BU: man these are so good im feeling better already

CS: "Better"?

BU: nvm

BU: anyways what is it

CS: I need you to connect to me, Sburb-wise.

BU: oh yeah that whole shebang NC told me about that

CS: "Shebang"? Honestly, Takahashi? No one uses that word anymore.

BU: idc

CS: Anyway, can you?  
>BU: not right now<p>

BU: i think my sister has my copies

CS: Goddammit.

BU: sorry

CS: It's alright.

CS: I'll wait.

Kida: Be another guy.

You are now another guy.

Enter name.

"Sweaty McNervous"

No.

Try again.

"Suguru Shimura"

Your name is Suguru Shimura and you are currently standing in your locked bedroom. You have a number of interests. One of these interests is in the fantasy genre, specifically books like Harry Potter. You also play rugby, and you enjoy it a lot. That being said, you are very strong, although you don't much look it. You are very jumpy and skittish, and you sweat a lot. You are also don't have many friends, aside from the seven guys you talk to sometimes. But you're not sure if you can really consider them friends. You like to play roleplaying games with one of them sometimes. Your chumhandle is paranoidRugby.

What will you do?

Shimura: Examine magic wand.

Magic? This thing isn't magic. You know this because magic is fake, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun to pretend it is.

Shimura: Examine bookshelf.

You've read all of these stories a hundred times. It's about time you look for something new. You don't have enough money to buy anything, and neither does your mom – not that she'd get you anything if she did. She'd probably beat you for asking.

Shimura: Examine fake wizarding robes.

You wonder if these even fit you anymore. Probably not.

Shimura: Examine computer.

This thing is such a colossal piece of shit. You can't even install PesterChum on it. Sburb seems to work, though. You think. You haven't started playing yet.

Shimura: Examine smartphone.

You can barely even afford this thing. It's pretty new, and the phone bill is a lot, even if you don't actually call people that much.

Someone is trying to contact you.

Shimura: Answer MS.

– magneticShogi [MS] began pestering paranoidRugby [PR] at 18:50 –

MS: Shimura.

PR: Hello!

PR: How can I help you?  
>MS: I was just wondering what you're up to. You've been gone all day, after all.<br>PR: I have? I was just talking to Takahashi..

MS: You wouldn't respond to any of my messages.

PR: Sorry. I didn't see them until just now.

MS: It's fine.

MS: Where were you, though?

PR: Sleeping.

MS: All day?

PR: Well, no.

PR: But I managed to actually fall asleep last night.

MS: You passed out.

PR: Any sleep is good sleep, if I'm not having nightmares.

MS: So I assume it was peaceful?  
>PR: I don't know. I had a kind of odd dream.<p>

MS: What do you mean?

PR: I had a dream that I was in a room similar to mine, wearing these purple pajamas. Also I could fly.

PR: And I flew out the window found that I was in the weird purple city.

MS: Come to think of it, I've been having dreams rather similar to that.

MS: How strange.

PR: Huh.

PR: Maybe it has some sort of meaning. We'll find out eventually, I guess.

MS: I suppose, yes.

MS: Are you going to play Sburb?  
>PR: Oh, yeah, I was just talking to NC about that.<p>

PR: Something about the apocalypse?

MS: NC may be wrong.

PR: He said that Kida said a meteor hit Higuchi's house.

MS: He might be tricking you.

PR: I don't see why he would do that. NC's my friend. He knows not to do things like that to me, and he's never done it before.

MS: If you say so. I'm still rather skeptical.

PR: I'm not entirely sold either, but I've always been pessimistic. The end of the world isn't exactly positive.

MS: Hm.

MS: Your perceptiveness is an advantage. It's too bad it often manifests itself as paranoia. You're too young to be so nervous all the time.

PR: You're too young to be so poker faced all the time.

MS: Those are two entirely different things.

MS: And I meant no offense. You know that. I suppose I just feel bad for you.

PR: I feel bad for people who are so convinced they can never show emotion, who think it's better to be more machine than human. I feel bad for people who are constantly alone without companions, who believe that it makes them higher or more sophisticated.

PR: I feel bad for people like you. Maybe that's why I like you so much.

MS: That sounds like a confession, Shimura.

PR: Uh.

PR: That's.

PR: I didn't mean it like that.

MS: Shimura, I think it may be time we had a discussion.

PR: Um.

PR: Sorry.

PR: I've got to go.

– paranoidRugby [PR] ceased pestering magneticShogi [MS] at 18:55 –

Shimura: Ponder your feelings for MS.

You're still confused about how you feel about that one. The thing is, you have a lot of trouble determining romantic from platonic feelings. That being said, there are four people just among your group of friends that you have rather confused emotions about. Maybe you'll get to that later.

Even if you do, you can't confess. Not to any of them. They would reject you entirely, and you think it's better to stay safe, even if you aren't satisfied, than take a chance and have things backfire on you.

Shimura: Talk to another one of said romantic interests (maybe).

Speak of the devil and he may appear. Or, one of them.

Shimura: Answer.

– galacticWeapons [GW] began pestering paranoidRugby [PR] at 18:56 –

GW: Shimura

PR: Oh, hey.

PR: How can I help you?

GW: I have a question

GW: Have you woken up yet

PR: What?

GW: Have you had any dreams recently

GW: About a purple city

PR: How did you know about that?  
>PR: Never mind. I know you won't tell me.<p>

GW: So thats a yes

GW: OK just making sure

PR: Why do you ask?

GW: You know how sometimes I know things

PR: Yes.

GW: This will probably sound crazy but try to believe me on this

GW: When I go to sleep I wake up on this planet called Prospit which is like the place youre dreaming about except everything is yellow

GW: There is a giant planet that I can see in the sky

GW: The clouds on it show things that have happened are happening or will happen

GW: Sometimes I get details but usually not

GW: For example I know that this game will bring about the end of the world

PR: I'm going to choose to believe you, because I think you're trustworthy.

GW: Id be skeptical if someone were telling me this so I mean I wouldnt blame you but Im glad you believe me

PR: I knew about the end of the world already; NC told me.

PR: Does he dream on Prospit as well?

GW: No

GW: He dreams on the same planet as you do

GW: Which is called Derse btw

PR: I didn't see those clouds last night.

GW: Yes thats because Derse doesnt have them

GW: I dont know if it has anything to replace them though

PR: Then how does NC know about this stuff?

GW: I tell him

GW: Im willing to share information with whoevers dream self has woken up

PR: What's a dream self?

GW: What do you think

PR: I'm guessing that there is another version of ourselves that wakes up on either Derse or Prospit when we fall asleep, and that we don't wake up until a certain point in our lives, which varies from person to person.

GW: Thats exactly right wtf Shimura

PR: Oh.

PR: I... didn't really expect that to be correct, but alright.

PR: So, you're awake on Prospit, and NC is awake on Derse, and MS and I just woke up on Derse, too.

PR: Does anyone else have dream selves?  
>GW: BS CS and BU are Prospit dreamers but they havent woken up yet<p>

GW: NC said that CB is a Derse dreamer too but he hasnt woken up either

PR: Do you think it's related to this game at all?  
>PR: Sburb, I mean.<p>

GW: Thats my theory on the matter

PR: Huh.

GW: Wait fuck

PR: What?  
>GW: Give me a second<p>

GW: One of those assholes are trolling me

GW: Ill be right back

– galacticWeapons [GW] ceased pestering paranoidRugby [PR] at 19:05 –

Shimura: Go to sleep.

You fail to go to sleep. You can't ever sleep until you basically pass out, and you're not nearly that tired at the moment.

Shimura: Prepare to play Sburb with friends.

Your mom has them. You ordered them without her permission, and she was extremely upset over this. She punished you, and then took them. You could ask for them back, but you don't want to tend to anymore injuries. You'll get kicked off the rugby team if this keeps up.

Not that it really matters anymore. The world is ending, after all. You expect to be sad, but you are much less unhappy about these developments than you could have been. You suppose it's because there isn't really much in the world that you'll miss a whole lot. You've tried to leave it before. The method may be altered this time, but it still feels the same.

Either way, you'd like to avoid any beatings, physically or otherwise.

Shimura: Contemplate where your mother's put your copies of Sburb.

There's nothing to contemplate. She's obviously put them in a drawer in her room.

You need to devise a plan to get to them.

Shimura: Devise villainous scheme.

You do your best evil laugh and stroke an imaginary beard.

Actually, no, you don't. That would be silly. Anyways, you're not doing anything evil.

Shimura: Examine food bowl.

That's for your cat. You're still not entirely sure how you managed to smuggle a cat into this apartment, but if it works, it works, you guess. You just have to be careful.

Speaking of which, you wonder where Pablo is. Where could that cat have gotten off to this time?

Takahashi: Exit room.

You are near the end of the hallway, if you can even call it that. There's only one wall; where the one across from you would be, the floor ends and drops off into the living room. You think this is pretty cool, even though you've nearly fallen before. It was your brothers' fault.

It hurts to think about them. It makes you want to cry. You wish you had tried to have a good relationship with them. You doubt you'll ever see them again now.

Takahashi: Examine doors behind you.

Your parents' room is farthest down. Then the two guest rooms – one was your oldest brother's who moved out years ago, the other belonged to the next two oldest. One of them moved into the other room, but he moved out a couple years ago, leaving it to the other, who moved out rather recently. The next room is the bathroom. After that is the room which belonged to your two older brothers. One of them could have moved into another room, but they chose not to; they are twins and do practically everything together. Or, they were. Now all five of your brothers are missing. You doubt they are alive.

Takahashi: Examine door in front of you.

That is your sister's room.

Takahashi: Knock on door to sister's room.

No answer.

Takahashi: Open the door a crack.

She's not there.

Takahashi: Enter.

Completely deserted. God, does the bright pink hurt your eyes. It's such a girly color, you think. Not that that's bad. Also, gender roles are stupid. But maybe that's not you thinking. Maybe that is some sort of greater being controlling this tale and stating what they believe to be true. Maybe that idea is stupid.

Actually, no, it's not. It is _definitely_ stupid.

Takahashi: Look around for copies of game.

There they are! On her bed.

Takahashi: Pick up copies.

You prepare to exit the room, when you hear footsteps approaching.

Takahashi: Take cover!

You dive into your sister's closet.

You hear the door creak open, followed by the light footsteps that must belong to your sister. You pray to God that she doesn't open the closet. Please don't let her open the closet.

Luckily, she seems to just be getting some dolls out to play with. She exits the room after a few tense (for you, that is) minutes.

Takahashi: Come out of the closet.

You throw your arms out and announce to the world that you are, in fact, a homosexual.

Actually, no, you don't, because you are actually a pansexual and everybody knows that.

Takahashi: Get back to your room.

Home free!

Takahashi: Message Kida.

BU: ok im back

BU: ive got the copies

CS: What took you?

CS: It's been more than ten minutes.

BU: i was hiding in the closet

CS: I thought you came out?

BU: thats not what i meant

CS: That was a joke.

CS: I'm hilarious.

BU: not really

CS: Sh.

CS: Better than GW.

BU: oh my god GW is a threat to the human race thats how bad his jokes are

CS: The human race is about to go extinct, GW or no GW, if you don't connect to me and get this show on the road.

BU: oh yeah sorry

Takahashi: Get this show on the road!

You connect to Kida.


	4. Chapter 4

Higuchi: Are you a playable character yet?

It appears so.

Higuchi: Stand up.

You still appear to be in your living room. Things have changed. It appears to be darker. The only thing you can see through the windows is black. Also, that weird sprite thing that Kida threw one of your many grossly kinky porn magazines into for whatever reason is still floating there, however it is no longer spherical, instead donning the appearance of what appears to be some sort of floating ghost hooker... thing. You wonder what it wants. It's some kind of game construct, you guess.

Higuchi: Hit on the sprite.

You would given other circumstances, but you have other things to be concerned with.

Higuchi: Wonder where your brother is.

He was standing out in the front yard last time you checked. But taking into account the fact that a meteor just struck, he may be dead. You can't be sure.

"You there."

You suddenly get the strangest feeling that someone is attempting to communicate with you. As if you can almost hear a voice speaking to you. Trying to get your attention. But that's stupid, so you discard the though immediately.

"Don't I know you?"

The feeling remains. You glance around, wondering if it was just your imagination. A construct of the game, perhaps?

"Yes, I've met you before. You were the boy who I met on the Battlefield."

You suddenly find yourself thinking about... battlefields? What? You are so confused.

"Humans are such disgusting creatures. You are a prime example."

You suddenly feel very negative about yourself. More so than usual, that is. The feeling is entirely unwelcome, and your mood is only getting worse.

"I'm leaving now. I wish I hadn't ever wasted my time with you."

Well. That was weird. You feel like shit now.

Higuchi: Contact Kida.

– bastardizedSawbucks [BS] began pestering calculatedSpectacles [CS] at ?:? –

BS: Hey kida

BS: Kida are you there

CS: Oh, Higuchi. You're alright. That's pleasing to know.

BS: I agree

CS: I couldn't view you for a while there. I was rather concerned that you were dead.

BS: Im too amazing and attractive to die

CS: Whatever you say.

BS: Fuck you too

CS: Let's not get into this. Please. I'm too busy for this.

BS: Oh really

CS: Yes. Takahashi has connected to me.

BS: Oh shit really

BS: Well jesus I hope you dont die

CS: Why do you say that?  
>BS: Takahashis a fucking idiot and will probably murder you by accident<p>

CS: That's an oxymoron, Higuchi.

BS: I thought you said you were busy

CS: You're right. Since you appear to be intact, I will mirror your actions before the meteor impacted. While I do that, perhaps you should explore some. See where you are.

BS: What do you mean

CS: I mean that your neighborhood was completely destroyed. I'm surprised mine wasn't taken out simultaneously, since we live so close together. The fact that you and your house seem to be intact rather implies that you are currently in a different place then where you had originally started off to be. Understand?

BS: Yeah I think?

BS: Ill uh

BS: Do that

CS: Goddammit.

BS: What

Kida: Examine Kernelsprite.

Why did Takahashi think it was a good idea to throw a stuffed bunny into this thing?

Kida: Hassle Takahashi.

CS: Takahashi, why did you think it was a good idea to throw a stuffed bunny into this thing?  
>BU: it seemed like a good idea at the time<p>

CS: Sigh.

BU: why did you even have that thing

CS: Ever heard of the movie Con Air?

BU: no

CS: You have no taste in good cinema, Takahashi.

BU: better than yours

CS: Hush. It's no use lying to yourself.

CS: Anyways, that's irrelevant at the moment.

CS: I'm going to replicate these glasses.

Kida: Replicate glasses.

Luckily for you, you managed to convince Takahashi to put these contraptions near to you and near to each other. However, doing so required him to add space into your room, which is an action that Sburb allows you to do – in fact, building appears to be one of the main points in the game. Such actions cost build grist, which you had a bit of to start off with, however you are now running low. Perhaps there is a way to accumulate more as the game progresses? Hm. You'll have to see. But for now, it's time to get to work.

Higuchi: Exit house.

You walk out the front door.

It is extremely cold outside in comparison to what it was like earlier. There are large hunks of ice standing everywhere, and what appear to be shards of glass scattered over the ground. You contemplate going back inside to put on heavier clothes, but decide to at least explore around the house some first.

Higuchi: Walk in circle around house.

You are immediately confronted with a rather gruesome sight.

Your brother did not survive the meteor blast. At least his corpse is still left over.

Higuchi: Enter house.

You enter the house and oh what the hell is that thing.

'That thing' appears to be a small, black creature. It seems to be humanoid, but it has somewhat large, pointy teeth and its skin, if you could call it that, seems to be a hard shell. It is also wearing a thong. You are... not sure why this arouses you.

Higuchi: Ignore it.

You fail to ignore it, because it decides to attack you. Goddammit.

Higuchi: Strife!

You pull out your katana, which you had forgotten you were carrying. The creature never really stood a chance. For some reason, when you kill it, it turns into these weird gem things that are shaped like Gushers. When you touch them, they disappear. Yeah, this is almost definitely a game construct.

Higuchi: Contact Kida.

BS: Ok so I went outside and looked around some

CS: Good. We're making progress.

CS: There's a meteor rushing towards me at the moment. I will listen to you as much as I can, but when the it comes too close, I'm going to snap these glasses in half. Then I'll probably disappear for a few minutes.

BS: Dude we both know you could never bring yourself to harm a pair of glasses

BS: Your love for those things is so great its legit worrying

BS: And I know that you use them as dildos sometimes

CS: How did you find out about that?  
>BS: What<p>

BS: I didnt

BS: I was kidding

BS: Ok awkward much

BS: Im gonna keep talking

CS: Oh.

CS: Yes, please do. And forget I said anything.

BS: Lol no

BS: But anyways

BS: Im in this weird land

BS: Theres a bunch of ice everywhere and also glass

CS: Fascinating. A game construct, I believe.

CS: Anything else?

BS: Well my brothers dead

CS: My condolences.

BS: Nah we didnt really talk much anyways

CS: Maybe you didn't, but I know how it feels to have and older brother die.

BS: You do

CS: Never mind. That's irrelevant.

CS: Point is, I'm empathetic.

BS: Ok thanks but idgaf

CS: Maybe I'll prototype him into your Kernelsprite.

BS: Uh

BS: Speaking of that thing

BS: Its appearance changed

CS: I'm switching onto the viewport now.

CS: The screen's not black anymore. Yeah, I can see the sprite.

CS: Huh.

CS: That's strange.

CS: Give me a second. I'm getting the thing.

BS: What

Kida: Click on Higuchi's brother.

You feel kind of weird doing this, but you guess it's for the best.

Kida: Throw it into the sprite.

The sprite changes appearance! Now it looks like Higuchi's brother, but wearing... that.

BS: What

BS: The

BS: Fuck?!

Years in the future, but not many, a Roving Mendicant wanders the desert. She stumbles upon a small, circular opening in the sand, a ladder leading down.

RM: Climb down ladder.

You enter a large room. There is a large computer on one wall, displaying a familiar boy standing in a not-so-familiar room.

RM: Enter commands via keyboard.

"You there."

The boy remains unresponsive.

"Don't I know you?"

You spend a few minutes trying to get this guy's attention and failing miserably. Eventually, you realize where you know him from and decide that this disgusting piece of shit isn't worth your time, nor was he ever.

RM: Examine the rest of the room.

There's not much in here; a bag with no content, a doll of some sort of alien girl, a black notebook, a few cans, and a crowbar.

RM: Read notebook.

The words "Ryotaru Sakajo" are scrawled on the paper. You have no idea what this means. Other than that, the notebook is completely empty.

RM: Gather all items and put them in the bag.

This thing sure is heavy! Luckily, you are very strong.

RM: Exit via the ladder.

The door suddenly slides shut! You appear to be trapped.

RM: Look around the room some more.

You notice a small panel on the wall, bearing the numbers 1:26, a number ticking away with each passing second. You hadn't noticed this countdown before now, but you are somewhat anxious as to what it means.

RM: Try prying the door open with the crowbar.

After about a minute of tugging at this thing, the door finally gives way and you climb out.

RM: Brush away some of the sand around the door.

You appear to be on top of the room you were just in.

RM: Walk away.

Before you can accomplish said action, the ground begins to shake.

RM: Run!

You are thrown to the metal on top of the room as it is launched into the air.

RM: Peek over the edge.

Are you... flying?

Higuchi: Consult with Brosprite.

You are not sure you want to talk to this thing. You contemplate walking away, but the sprite floats in front of you and sort of sleepily says, "Hi."

"What the fuck are you?" you demand, not bothering to greet it. You are really not in the mood to deal with your idiot brother, especially not when he's wearing _that_. Or when he's a ghost. Seriously, what the hell is up with that?

"Your brother," the sprite answers, still looking kind of stoned. After a pause, he adds, "I think."

"Why are you wearing a thong?" You should not be turned on by this. Why are you turned on by this?

"I'm wearing a thong?" He stares at you blankly.

You facepalm, really wondering how you got stuck with this guy. Why did Kida decide to prototype him? Ugh, so dumb.

"Can you just go away?"

"Where to?"

"I honestly don't care. Just... get away from me." This thing is seriously freaking you out.

He doesn't leave.

Higuchi: Answer troll to distract yourself..

– passionateSimulacrum [PS] began trolling bastardizedSawbucks [BS] –

PS: omg i cant believe you just denied the help of your sprite thats such a stupid thing to do!

BS: What

PS: your sprite

PS: you know, your brother in a thong?

PS: which was admittedly a really stupid thing to prototype into a sprite tbh

PS: what was glasses dude thinking?

BS: You mean kida

BS: Idk hes stupid sometimes

PS: you guys are so weird

BS: How do you know about all this anyways

PS: i can see it

PS: sort of like what kida uses to see you!

PS: in fact, my friends and i can contact you and your friends at any point in time

BS: Bullshit

BS: Thats not possible

PS: does any of this seem possible to you?

BS: Ok fair point

BS: But theres no way Im ever talking to my weird ghost brother again ever

PS: thats a bad idea

BS: No its not

PS: yes it is

BS: No its not

PS: yes it is!

BS: Ok stop

BS: Why should I need him

PS: hes supposed to help guide you through the game!

BS: He wouldnt help at all

PS: yes he would!

BS: Nah

PS: please?

BS: How the fuck would he help

PS: youre very stupid!

PS: youre going to need as much help as you can get

PS: im going to go now

PS: asshole

– passionateSimulacrum [PS] ceased trolling bastardizedSawbucks [BS] –

Takahashi: Contact Shimura.

– blunderingUpsurge [BU] began pestering paranoidRugby [PR] at 19:50 –

BU: shimura buddy

BU: kidas missing in action

BU: since hes entered the game i think

BU: so you need to connect to me so that we can continue the game

PR: I don't know.

PR: I...

PR: My mom was upset when she found out that I ordered them without asking her. The punishment I received then was bad enough then; I don't want her to hurt me any worse than she already has.

BU: you can play without her knowing cant you

PR: She took my copies from me.

BU: oh

BU: cant you get them?

PR: I'm scared, Takahashi.

PR: I don't want her to hurt me anymore.

BU: im sorry

PR: It's not your fault.

PR: Maybe I will. I don't know.

PR: I'm sorry. I'm just being selfish.

BU: no no i didnt mean it like that!

PR: I'll think about it. I'm sorry.

– paranoidRugby [PR] ceased pestering blunderingUpsurge [BU] at 19:52 –

Shimura: Confide in MS.

– paranoidRugby [PR] began pestering magneticShogi [MS] at 19:53 –

PR: Hey.

MS: Hello, Shimura.

MS: Are you in need of something?  
>PR: I'm scared.<p>

MS: About what?

PR: I need to connect to Takahashi, but my mother has the discs. I need to ask her for them, but I'm scared. I don't want her to hurt me.

MS: Ah.

MS: I may have a plan to get it from her.

PR: Really?

MS: I'll connect to you first. That way, I can get take them for you.

PR: Thank you!

MS: If it's necessary. You getting beat up wouldn't get us anywhere, would it?

PR: No.

MS: It may take a bit, but I'm sure I can deliver. Just give me a few minutes.

Shimura: Glance out window.

You have a feeling this is going to be a long night.


End file.
